I remember the first time I got my heart broken , at that time I didn’t know what mindfulness or mind-body connections were. All I knew then was shame and the pain the pierced through me . I was only 20 didn’t have much life experience like I do now . I survived of course and have had a lot more heart breaks . I mean everyone does , I don’t know a single person who’s heart hasn’t been broken at least once . After a deeply emotional experience we often left with a sort of debris.
Here’s a theory I discovered over the years “ The amount of pain and unpleasantness we are supposed to feel every time we have a traumatic experience is not infinite. This amount could be huge when we experience something very impactful like someone’s death or a divorce . The point is when we don’t allow ourselves to really feel these pain or emotions, getting to the bottom of that pain takes a little bit longer.Unless we really let this feelings be when it comes up and give it the space to evolve, it will keep coming back until we are able to give it the attention it deserves. I always thought suppressing my pain and walking around like everything was okay was the way to go . No it’s okay to break down, cry if you have to that’s how you take your mind away from falling into depression. Here’s a few ways I get over some really emotional times in my life
Identify the root of the problem as well as your role in it , do not over analyze, or try to distract or justify the facts. Get clear on the reality of the situation, you need to give yourself time and space to experience the full uninterrupted expression of what you feel.
Get a grip of your mind . Over thinking causes more distress than we can imagine. Mind you I am and over thinker. Thinking thoughts that only make you sad is equivalent to serving yourself up for distress. Only you can get a grip of your own mind .
Upgrade your personality. You may not be the person you like to be . Choose features of your personality you will like to upgrade and take the necessary actions
Spend time with loved ones . We feel warmer, happier and much more better if we love and let ourselves be loved . Acknowledge the reality of others include others in your plans and try not to isolate yourself.
Focus on observing how your emotional pain manifest in your body. Learn to love yourself unconditionally, when you feel the pain that you feel someone else caused try to find the need that is not being fulfilled, try to fulfill that need yourself by giving yourself what’s missing. Healing yourself emotionally is undoubtedly the best gift you will ever give yourself.
Every time you choose not to fall into your old familiar pattern of hurt followed by acceptance or revenge, you take steps away from the old stories you have bought into . You make a move toward freeing yourself from the bondage of the emotional whims . Share with me your thoughts in the comments am always open to new ideas .