Tag Archives: #movingforward

HEALING EMOTIONALLY

I remember the first time I got my heart broken , at that time I didn’t know what mindfulness or mind-body connections were. All I knew then was shame and the pain the pierced through me . I was only 20 didn’t have much life experience like I do now . I survived of course and have had a lot more heart breaks . I mean everyone does , I don’t know a single person who’s heart hasn’t been broken at least once . After a deeply emotional experience we often left with a sort of debris.

Here’s a theory I discovered over the years “ The amount of pain and unpleasantness we are supposed to feel every time we have a traumatic experience is not infinite. This amount could be huge when we experience something very impactful like someone’s death or a divorce . The point is when we don’t allow ourselves to really feel these pain or emotions, getting to the bottom of that pain takes a little bit longer.Unless we really let this feelings be when it comes up and give it the space to evolve, it will keep coming back until we are able to give it the attention it deserves. I always thought suppressing my pain and walking around like everything was okay was the way to go . No it’s okay to break down, cry if you have to that’s how you take your mind away from falling into depression. Here’s a few ways I get over some really emotional times in my life

Identify the root of the problem as well as your role in it , do not over analyze, or try to distract or justify the facts. Get clear on the reality of the situation, you need to give yourself time and space to experience the full uninterrupted expression of what you feel.

Get a grip of your mind . Over thinking causes more distress than we can imagine. Mind you I am and over thinker. Thinking thoughts that only make you sad is equivalent to serving yourself up for distress. Only you can get a grip of your own mind .

Upgrade your personality. You may not be the person you like to be . Choose features of your personality you will like to upgrade and take the necessary actions

Spend time with loved ones . We feel warmer, happier and much more better if we love and let ourselves be loved . Acknowledge the reality of others include others in your plans and try not to isolate yourself.

Focus on observing how your emotional pain manifest in your body. Learn to love yourself unconditionally, when you feel the pain that you feel someone else caused try to find the need that is not being fulfilled, try to fulfill that need yourself by giving yourself what’s missing. Healing yourself emotionally is undoubtedly the best gift you will ever give yourself.

Every time you choose not to fall into your old familiar pattern of hurt followed by acceptance or revenge, you take steps away from the old stories you have bought into . You make a move toward freeing yourself from the bondage of the emotional whims . Share with me your thoughts in the comments am always open to new ideas .

ACCEPTING REALITY

Like I said in my previous post, these year has been a combination of my worst and best year . Lately things seemed to be going down the drain for me . There are things in life I definitely don’t want as a part of my lives history. I sometimes don’t want this things to be a reality. I know am definitely not the only one struggling with accepting reality especially with everything going on in 2020

Accepting reality might be a very difficult process. It does not mean we are ok with what we are accepting, it doesn’t mean with agree with it either. The best thing one can do when it rains is let it rain . Acceptance is all about the present and has nothing to do with the future. Accepting reality is not an act of failure but an act of courage for those who have the strength to face the truth and stop denying it .

Rejecting reality does not change it . Suffering is sometimes the minds refusal to accept reality. In order to accept reality we have to start with the first step which is radical acceptance. It is a skill for accepting things the way that they are. It helps you accept the reality of the situation so you can make smart choices. Radical acceptance means exactly what it sounds like .

You have to accept reality no matter what reality is. The first part of radical acceptance is understanding what you can not change and recognizing what you can change. You can change how long you choose to dwell on things, the choices you make , your attitude, your relationship with God and many others.

Sometimes we face unpleasant situations and difficult problems that make us feel helpless, confused and frustrated. Don’t try to understand everything cause somethings are not meant to be understood but accepted. You don’t have to continue suffering at the hands of things you can not control. Accept whatever situation your facing and let God take over. Remember to always stay positive.

Share your ideas and thoughts with me in the comment section am always open to new ideas .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME 🎊🎉🎂

Gather ’round and celebrate the joy that has been given to me
A gift of love – of flesh and blood. A tiny bit of heaven.

See the wonder of it all, and marvel at the sight,
Share the happiness we know, celebrate the life God has given to me .

I Make memories of the times to come, of hours and days and years.
I Marked down each step, each task, each word – the laughter and the tears throughout the year .

For a celebration of life is such, that one must never be In too big a hurry to stop and smell… to feel… to touch… to see.

Yes, gather ’round and celebrate the life that has been given to me
A gift of love – of hope eternal. Our tiny bit of heaven.

A lITTLE WORD OF MOTIVATION

I woke up this morning feeling very empty . I had some kind of pain in me . Lately I have felt very weak and defeated in the spirit, I found myself asking God a series of questions. Why do certain things happen to us ? Why does he allow the devil to place hatred, wickedness, sickness, loss, and disappointments in our lives and the world.

I decided to turn to my bible for answers. I started reading the book of Mathew in the New Testament. It is one of my favorite chapters cause I love reading about Jesus teachings and his life journey. One thing that caught my attention was Mathew 12-13 . It tells me Jesus really does understand when we suffer similar loses. He weeps too when we cry. It’s easy for us to sometimes forget the humanity of Jesus.

We forget that he lost loved ones too. We forget he was rejected, he got frustrated at his disciples when they didn’t understand, he was betrayed too. He feels everything that we feel and he is there to walk us through our pain . All we need to do is believe and pray. Pain and problems don’t come from God but from the devil. Remember the story of job? God wants us to pray and he shall lift our burdens away from us . Mathew 6:25-33

Even when Jesus knew he was to be nailed on the cross he prayed and said “God if it is possible take this pain away from me “ He is just as human as we are .

Good morning ☀️.

A NEW BEGINNING

As my birthday approaches I keep getting more excited. I have decided to celebrate this new age with an Important event in my life. I really hope it motivates someone reading this. Two years ago around this same time I had a profound moment in which I realized I needed to completely change my life . I needed to do it fast and I needed to do it right . Most importantly I needed to stick to it . It’s been very challenging but I am so grateful for my rock bottom moment. My life feels completely different .

If I have learned anything on this personal development journey of mine, is that changing your life can happen in a moment of truth. The only thing I look back to on this day is to celebrate how far I have come on this journey. Imagine living life a whole year and you find yourself in the same exact place as you were the previous year ?

Maybe there’s someone reading this right now asking themselves “how do I change my life? “ Well I will share three things you need to consider before making this change.

Make a mindset shift. Your mindset is what sets the tone for everything in your life. What we think and believe is what acts upon us . Change your prospective about negative things and things you can not control. You may not be able to control how a person treats you but can control how you react to it . You do not need to change for the world . You need to change for you .

Embrace your authentic self . Understanding who you are and what you want . I really didn’t know who I was for a very long time . I wanted to be what everyone wanted me to be . This played a huge part in me feeling lost and empty for so long . Figure out what really matters to you in life . Minds are like flowers they only open when the time is right

Do a life audit start to figure out where you stand in the 8 areas of life. Personal Development, health, relationship, home life, free time, self-care and finances. What changes will make an impact in this areas.

I hope you make a decision today if you’re feeling lost . Share with me your thoughts in the comment section below. I am always open to new ideas for growth.

Happy birthday to everyone born today . And a very happy birth to all the Virgo’s reading this.

MY BIRTHDAY MONTH.

It’s my birthday month which I am usually stupidly always excited about every year. With every year that passes I totally embrace my new age and always thinking my new age is better than the last. I have really grown so much in the past years and this year has been a combination of the best and worst year of my life . I feel blessed for making it far into this year for many did not .

Because I am in my defining decade I don’t plan on screwing anything up . With this new age I plan on really upgrading my personality and creating long term goals . I want to share with you seven life upgrading lessons I have learned within the past years . I hope it motivates you to do the same.

I have learned to let go of my ego . Life becomes easier when you accept an apology you never got . I have learned my ego blinds and filters me from possibilities and progress.

I have learned to stop feeling bad about things of the past . The life in front of you begins in your mind. What you give power to has power over you. I learned to stop the heavy use of shoulda, woulda, coulda. Life is not a series of failures but an opportunity to get back up every time you fall .

I started taking really good care of my health. To be wealthy is to be healthy. Once your health is gone you really never get it back .

I started practicing mindfulness, I became more aware of my thoughts, my body sensation and surrounding. Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves. It really helps deal with stress in a very healthy way.

I learned to appreciate failure more. Failure is the best thing that can contribute to the making of an adult. To get a deeper knowledge of my understanding of failure read – THE SIMPLE POWER OF FAILURE.

I stopped making excuses and letting myself off the hook for not being the person I want to be. We will be happier and more successful if we stop giving excuses for everything.

And last but not the least I constantly want to learn something new and grow in it . Change is the end result of all true learning.

Share with me your thoughts in the comment section. Happy birthday to all born in the month of August .

A BAD WEEK

Sometimes we have those weeks where you don’t even wish you could hit rewind and do it all over again but instead wish you could hit all delete.

Here’s a little rundown of how last week went for me. Monday I was up late and missed an interview for a really great job, Tuesday my car broke down in the middle of traffic and I had to spend quite a lot to get it fixed and out of there . Wednesday I lost a friendship I cared much about , Thursday I felt really sick and could barely make it out of bed , Friday I lost my credit card and had some unknown transactions, Saturday I got a speeding ticket and Sunday after service my car wouldn’t start due to my battery dying.

It seemed that everything that could go wrong went wrong . Most reaction people have when the walls begin to crumble is crumble right along with the walls. I have learned not to allow the events in my life determine the course of my life. It is your reaction to this events that determine the quality of your lives.

When negative events seem to happen simultaneously it feels suffocating and difficult to overcome. The truth is there are many ways to cope with a bad day or week . I want to share the 3 things I did to help me through my bad week .

Dwell on the good things though it seems tough. With all the bad things happening to me there were equally good this that happened. Like I got another job interview with a better pay, got a $200 gift card from my sister to make me feel better. Instead of dwelling on this good things I made the mistake of dwelling on the bad ones. We should be thankful for the good things that happen to us no matter how small they may seem . Make a list of the good and bad things and celebrate the good ones.

Everything will be fine, it’s really not the end. Life has continual ups and down . We all have had low patches before and was able to get through them and learned from them. We are more than capable of overcoming anything . Focus on the things that makes you happy , get a massage, get some food , watch a movie . Do anything that makes you happy. As much as we might not like this idea but somethings are out of our control. Remember there are people who will love to have your bad days

Challenge yourself. Ok we had a bad week , will you let next week be the same? Accept the fact that there will always be bad days or weeks. Let the steam off , talk to someone if you have to. We have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of our life.

Share with me a week or day that was bad in your life and how you dealt with it in the comment section. I am always open to new ideas.

BE kIND

Can you recall a time when somebody was kind to you ?

Now change that scenario and think of a time you were kind to another person. Think of their reaction and how you responded.

If you read further into your mind, you should know that kindness affects the users and the experiencer . It equally affects those who witness this act .

Everyone (me included) is waiting to be discovered or become rich believing that it holds the keys of happiness, The plane fact is the planet doesn’t need more successful people as much as it desperately needs more restores, peacemakers, healers and lovers of every kind . Things could change so entirely in a heartbeat, the world could be made anew because someone was kind .

Kindness will solve many problems than conflict will ever, many people seem to think kindness portraits weakness . The reality is, it portraits growth and a healthy mindset . Always seek ways you can be the kinder person. We must be the change that we wish to see in the world.

It is not enough to say I want to be a kind person , be it , do it . It cause $0.00 to be kind . All the greats that have lived and are living now have developed their kindness to a standard of excellence. They conduct themselves in such a way that people think they are gifted . That is not the case . Kindness is something we learn and master.

I always imagine living in a perfect world where everyone is kind. People treating one another with love and respect. Then I wonder why this is only a fiction and not reality. There are Many areas in our daily life where we can be kind . I was always terrified of my employers until my present employer. He and his family are one of the kindest people I ever met . Despite the difference in social status and race he was still as kind as an angel . Little does he know his small act of kindness lives with me eternally . One act of kindness changes someone’s entire day and maybe life.

Kindness improves and strengthens social connections and relationships. It is an important prediction of satisfaction and long term stability. Kindness is contagious. Simple act of kindness sparks another and those who witness or receive this act of kindness are more likely to pay it forward . Because I saw my parents be kind to all around them and me , I will definitely be kind to all and my kids. Because my boss is kind to me and all his employees so shall we be kind to our employees and co-workers . This just goes to proves the power of kindness.

Be somebody that makes everybody feel like a somebody . The world is full of kind people if you can’t find one, be one . Kindness doesn’t only entail giving . A few kind words can help a person a lot more than you think . In a world where you can be anything , choose kindness

Share with me what you think the world will look like if everyone was just a little kind in the comment section . I will love to engage more with my readers follow my IG page real-life-challenge2.

THE SIMPLE POWER OF FAILURE.

In my previous blog post titled “when to give up “ constant failure was a key point . In my conclusion it was clearly stated that giving up should never be an option but if it is, then it’s time to . How do you react when you fail? I have failed in so many aspects over the years . Class examination, my first job, my first driving test, my business venture , the list can go on and on. Most of us (me included) think failure is unacceptable, as a result we dream of a land of perfectionism where there are few risk and fewer opportunities. Obviously failure isn’t something any of us enjoy. But for a lot of successful people the long term gain is worth the pain at the front end. Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly .

Failure can be an efficient teacher in our carriers, our financial lives and in living our goals . Before you can fail, you have to expand your horizons, take new risk . Many people avoid failure because the are scared of moving backwards after success. But even if your moving in the wrong direction, your still headed somewhere. Every slip up bring you one step closer to success. It inspires us to broaden our thinking . The more you work on something the more meaning it carries . If it were so easy to accomplish our goals then it won’t be worth accomplishing.

Failure has a way of motivating and keeping you humble. It helps overcome fear . Once you face it, it becomes the enemy you know. There’s a popular saying “if it doesn’t kill you, it only makes you stronger.” This familiarity helps you move with confidence that a stumble or a fall won’t be the end of your journey. Society seems to have a huge hang up on failure, using it to define us , stop us from trying again .

Sometimes failing at something even if you truly desire it is and indication that something elsewhere isn’t right. Luckily for us we live in a prosperous world. Where there isn’t just one opportunity to do anything. There are always second chances and sometimes third .

Failure isn’t what defines us but and asset for our growing skill. It builds character. When you fail you develop a deeper understanding of yourself. success is often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable. There’s so much I have and we can all learn from failure . I have not failed I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work . Have you benefited from failure ? What is the most surprising or important lessons it taught you?

Share it with me in the comment section , I am always open to all opinions.

WHEN YOU THINK YOUR NOT GOOD ENOUGH REMEMBER THIS.

Sometimes if not often I am really unfair to myself and relentlessly compare myself to other people , no matter how many times I hear how good enough I am. I get stuck in myself and allow my inner critic to completely tear apart my self-esteem until I hate myself too much. Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is simply believing you’re worthy of the trip. Most times the pressure coming from peers, family, work and society in general Is enough to make us completely broken Inside. “Why is this a problem you ask ?” well Self-hate can affect us mentally, our relationships, our life goals and education. Dealing with self-hate has been an ongoing battle for so long, maybe it has to do with my obsession with perfection. And for you struggling with self-hate like me here’s a few things to remember.

1) Nobody is doing better than you because nobody can do better than you. The reasons we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes circumstances with everyone’s else’s public highlight reel. Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgoing yourself to live your best life.

2) Remember happiness is allowing yourself to be perfectly OK with “what is“ rather than wishing and worrying about what is not, “what supposed to be” or “what it will not be”. You can’t control everything that happens to you you can only control the way you react to what happens.

3) When you choose to be miserable you will find plenty of reasons to be but if you choose happiness, life will give you so many reasons to be happy. You are in control of your mind and your thoughts, not the other way around.

4) Failures are really just lessons that need to be learned. No day is ever wasted when you live it with purpose and presence. Enjoy the journey when there are detours along the way. Life it self is full mistakes how we learn from this mistakes is the definition of who we are .

5) Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first then the lessons afterwards. This is really a blessing if we look at it in a Christian light, means you’re going stronger and more capable of every passing day.

6) You don’t need anyone’s approval. Stop listening to what the world has to say and start listening to you. There are only a few people in the world that will be 100% honest with you and you’re one of them. You’re more than good enough you just have to own it .

7) celebrate all your wins not only the big ones but the small ones too. A small step forward is still a step forward no matter how small it is. Celebrate the small wins in anyway you can. You can’t hate your way into loving yourself. Tell yourself you’re not up to a potential won’t help you reach that potential.

You’re enough just the way you are, it will be a lot easier every time you remind yourself s of that. You may think there’s a lot of wrong with you but there’s also a lot of right with you . Remember you’re not alone and endings are also new beginnings.

Share with me the points that relate to you most in the comment section and I am always open to opinions.

DEALING WITH A BROKEN HEART

Getting your heart broken is absolutely awful. Trust me I know. Most of us if not everyone have been there at some point. And most Times we are left wondering how to get over it. Before getting into this blog I will love you to know I have had my own share of a broken heart. This is not a researched write up but my own personal experience and how I dealt with it. I dedicated two years into loving someone and that didn’t work out for me. There is no sure ways to avoid a heartbreak ( unless you’re a robot with no emotional feelings). There are ways how ever to get through it. Even though there are times you believe you will never truly be happy again. Healing a broken heart takes time, sometimes longer than we often expected. Often times we blame ourselves. I spent weeks blaming myself, thinking I wasn’t good enough, finding problems within me that never existed. It turns out blaming yourself for a breakup makes it even harder to move on .

Most often after a break up, looking back at the relationship, it is easy for our minds to trick us into believing the relationship was much better than what it really was. In the moment it feels like you will never get over it, I am here to tell you that you absolutely will. If I did, I strongly believe you can. You learn many lessons from a broken and heart and believe me the were red flags from the very start. Because you ignored the red flags at the begging doesn’t mean they never existed. Yes the red flags were there, you saw them and you ignored them. Until you realize the relationship wasn’t gold from the very start, moving on may seem impossible. It took me a very long time to get over a heart break, longer than I wanted it to. In this write up I will talk on the three things I realized while dealing with a broken heart.

  1. It’s ok to grief the loss of the relationship. After a breakup we find ourself going through a wave of emotions (denial, anger, sad, depression and more). This emotion are normal. Allow yourself to grief, cry if you have too. Crying is therapy. But don’t let the breakup break you. Know you’re worth more than you think.
  2. Cut of communication with your ex. Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it. After a breakup we think we miss the ones who hurt us. No you don’t, you just miss the person you thought he or she was.
  3. Remember what sucked. Remember the things that hurt you you most, make a list if you can. See if you really want to relive those moments.

No matter how long it takes for you to move on, just know that the experience has only made you stronger. You might eventually look back and even be grateful the relationship came to and end. Cheer-up and know you will be involve again and it will be magnificent with the right person. The memories will fade so keep your head up. Always know the best is yet to come . That’s a rap. this was requested by a very good friend and hope it does something for you.

I am still working on my documentary write up and have to something special that will go up this week. Looking forward to your opinions and experiences in the comment section below.

MOVING FORWARD.

From my previous blog titled (GET INSPIRED), you get to know a side of me people never open up about. I am not here to write more about my past, not this time. In my conclusion I emphasized on the fact that we are capable of so much more than we think. God is constantly trying to open our eyes to amazing possibilities. In life there are two questions that confront people at every place and time, questions that confront you and me. Are you satisfied with the direction the world is moving? Are you satisfied with your life?

These questions are always before you , within you and around you. You are capable of incredible things. Don’t be afraid to embrace your beautiful self. The more you accept how imperfect you are, the more others will. Do not be afraid of possibilities, they are always so many more than the ones you see easily. Moving forward is never easy, there will be joy in the journey as well as a heart-wrenching pain. Any one who says the path is easy is to be distrusted. Life is difficult and messy, there’s no point trying to mask that or pretend otherwise.

How often have you fallen into the trap of thinking that the things of this world are more important than they really are? How often have we mistaken that certain things, pleasure and experience will make us happy for longer than they did? Yes there may have been times in your life you tried with all your might to overcome destructive habits and failed. We all have insatiable heart desires. Today is a new day and every moment is a chance to turn it around. This might be the begining of a new season of grace in your life. I hope it is, I pray it is. Where ever you are today I invite you to open your self up, love yourself like I learned to do. Try new things, leave the mistakes of the past in the past. Make new mistakes, we learn from the mistakes we make. Take risk and don’t fear the consequences. Only very few things bring us happiness in life.

Check on my write up on Successful and productive routines. It’s a major step to moving forward. In my next blog I will write more on having a productive mindset. I am open to your opinions in the comment section even if you don’t agree with me. Remember to always come back for more.