All posts by keyonce97

In my early twenties with a wild mind wanting to share my experiences with others on my age. I am very GOD fearing , honest and kind. I love encouraging others and myself too. My hobbies are reading, traveling and meeting new people. I am open to conversations and opinions. You can find me own Ig @keyonce_97, facebook Kelly Scott and snap chat as keyonce97
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GETTING RID OF FAKE FRIENDS

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I used to be afraid of loosing people until I realized most of them were never really down for me anyways. Even though my loyalty and love for them ran deep. Your fake friends are ruining you. I know it sounds harsh but it’s important to know who your real friends are . It can be challenging to know your friends are actually frenemies. What is a frenemy? it is someone Your friendly with , They might pretend to want you to do good on the surface but behind your back they are jealous and gossip about you. Unfortunately we leave in the kind of world where we run into these people. Don’t take it personal when you encounter a fake friend . A person who is fake to you is equally fake to others .

I mean for years I was surrounded by frenemies. The thing is it is always had to tell if someone is a fake friend. Keep in mind that feeling suspicious of a persons sincerity is usually a sign that something is not right. Before getting into why getting rid of fake friends is important let’s talk about how to identify a Frenemy. The five ways below are ways I knew I had Frenemies and not friends.

1) your friendship with them is conditional: A conditional friendship is when your friends expect you to give them certain things, act a certain way, dress in certain clothes Or follow some superficial standards before they can be friends with you. If someone requires you to be something other than yourself before they are friends with you , that’s not a real friend. The day I changed was the day I quit trying to fit in a world that never really fit me.

2) fake friends act differently when they are around other people. This is an obvious sign of a fake friend. There always nice to you privately and give you cold shoulders around others. Real friends are never ashamed of treating you with kindness and never laugh at you around their friends but speak highly of you .

3) fake friends will speak poorly of you behind your back. Why would someone you consider a friend feel it’s ok to talk about you to others . When you genuinely care about someone you never speak about their difficulties or problems to another. The worst pain is getting hurt by a person you explain your pain to.

4) fake friends stop talking to you after a disagreement Or take problems to social media. The real test of friendship occurs when you and your friend actually disagree on something. It is times like these you see a person‘s true colors. Do they talk about the problem with you or others? Do they try to work it out Or take it to social media throwing all kinds of subs at you? People show their true colors unintentionally pay attention. Real friends always talk things out, yes they do fight about things but always find a way to work it out with you and not others.

5) fake friends always bring you down. Yes they want to see you do good but never better than them remember that. They never support you in anything you do but always find a way to bring you down.

Why it’s important to access your friends actions it is also important to honestly reflect on your own actions. Honestly I haven’t been a very good friend to many and yeah I can admit to that . I really became a good friend when I was able to differentiate my friends and Frenemies. Unfortunately friends who you once couldn’t get enough of morph Into people you no longer want to have in your life. Now that you have identified your Frenemies let’s talk about how to get rid of them .

1) rise above pettiness and bitterness. Friendship rarely ends in a positive note especially if you made the conscious decision of actively removing someone from your life, but with fake friends it has to be done. Don’t attack them, don’t stop talking to them either. If they talk to you it’s ok to respond. Check on them if you have to but never consider them a friend. Consider them more of an acquaintance than a friend. Always remember to be Kind .

2) You lose some you gain a tone more. Although you might be losing the people closest to you, you are still surrounded by many genuine friends who care and love you not to mention the really cool friends you’re going to meet in the future. There are no strangers only friends you haven’t met yet. The only time I realized I had genuine friends was when I got rid of fake friends.

3) forgive and forget. Don’t hold onto the anger and bitterness . some relationship have an expiring date and you can’t help that. The universe has a plan and the journey of you guys being friends have now come to an end no had feelings Let it go . Sometimes you just have to be done ,not mad ,not upset just done.

Share your worst friendship experiences with me in the comment section would love to read them . Make sure to always come back for more real life inspiration.

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WILL RACISM EVER COME TO AN END?

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Racism a belief that inherent differences amongst various racial groups determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to dominate others. An example to this definition is the apartheid era in South Africa racism. Dictated that different races (chiefly black and white) should be segregated from one another. Historically those who openly professed or practised racism held that members of low status races should be limited to low status jobs and members of dominate races should have exclusive access to political power, economical resources, high statuses and unrestricted civil rights.

The life experiences of racism for members of low status races includes alot of violence, daily insults and frequent acts of verbal expression of contempt and disrespect. By the 19th century, racism had matured and spread around the world. This is to say racism does not only exist in the U.S. but all over the world. Racism existed long before slavery .Its is not only an issue of black and white but a particular race thinking it’s above the other. No one is born racist. No one is born hating another person because of their background or their religion. People must learn to hate and if they can learn to hate then they can learn to love. Growing up, I was never taught to hate anyone because of the color of their skin or their beliefs. I was actually never taught to hate. My dad loved everyone. Whites, Blacks, Muslims, Asians, Indians, Gays, Lesbians etc. He always told us to be kind to everyone even if they are not kind to us. Even the Bible tells us to love one another. In a world filled with people living with hatred towards People of a certain race . In the image below I share with you an email sent to Jeff Bezos amazon CEO for supporting the BLM movement.

The hate in that email can not be explained. It’s been years and there are millions of people who have hateful thoughts about people of different race. The issue of slavery, segregation and discrimination cannot be wiped out from the minds of those who solely believed in it. And see nothing wrong. As mentioned earlier, racism is taught and people fear what they don’t understand and tend to react negatively towards their fears. I believe racist are afraid of the difference they see. It is not our difference that divide us. It’s our inability to recognize , accept, and celebrate those differences. I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin but the content of their character . Let’s be straight racism is amongst the deadliest social ills plaguing the world today.

If you believe racism is not a problem in our present society then think again . The fact that we have to clarify that any lives matter, should be concern enough. I believe racism will never come to an end. That doesn’t stop us from getting our voices heard . To bring change you must not be afraid to take the first step. As long as there’s hate the will be racist people . You can give a person all the knowledge about racism, but you can’t make them think. Some people want to remain ignorant only because the truth requires change. In a racist society it is not enough to be non-racist we must be anti-racist. Until justice is blind to color, until education is unaware of race, until opportunity is unconcerned of color (white privilege) racism can not come to an end.

Share with me your thoughts in the comments , racism is a topic and concern we must all share our opinions on. I do hope you enjoy this and will make a step towards change.

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IS 2020 CANCELED?

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January 1 2020 marked the beginning of a new decade that many looked at with optimsm and a chance on a new lesson on life. Now only a few months into 2020 many are wondering if this year could get any worst. I wonder if what has happened so far could be a forbidding indicator of what is to come. 2020 has been and emotional draining year for me, with so many tragedies happening around the world and the personal adjustment I have had to make. I believe am not alone on these and feel like many feel the same way . And many like me have come to the conclusion that 2020 is a year worth canceling . Before going into my point I would like to give a recap of the events that have occurred around the world.

  1. Australian bush fire. More than half of Australia have been directly affected by bush fire crises including millions whose health were affected. This occurred January 9 2020 at the very start of the year.
  2. Taal volcano eruption in the Philippine which occurred January 12 2020. There were no immediate reports of casualties but there was major damage.
  3. The tragic death of Kobe Bryant on January 26 2020. Kobe one of the NBA’S all time greatest player was killed at age 41 in a helicopter crash with his 13 year old daughter and seven others.
  4. Earthquake in Turkey January 24 2020. About 1,607 where hospitalized.
  5. Devastating floods in Indonesia February 23 2020
  6. Locust swam in East Africa and south Asia. February 21 2020
  7. Gas plant explosion in Lagos Nigeria Friday June 5 2020.
  8. COVID-19 pandemic . The outbreak of COVID-19 is one 2020 calamity that has caused significant human suffering and global economic disruption. This pandemic is far from over and we are adopting new ways to live with the virus.
  9. The tragic death of Gorge Floyd a 46 year old African American . On may 25 2020 Floyd was killed in Minneapolis, Minnesota after a white police office knelt on his neck for almost 9 minutes. The killing of Floyd led to a protest for justice in all 50 states in the US and 18 other countries making it the greatest protest for justice in history

That’s a handful and we are only 6 months into 2020. I felt like my life was on hold when all these started. The tragedies don’t seem to stop and nothing seems to workout. The corona virus which kept us all home is still very much around and we are just learning new ways to survive it. I started thinking to myself, how do I escape from this? am I ready for what’s to come ? I was so ready to give up on this year then it hit me. what if 2020 isn’t worth canceling like we think, what if 2020 is really the year we been waiting for? A year so uncomfortable , so painful, so scary, so raw that it forces us to grow . A year that screams so loud finally awakening us . A year we finally accept the need for change. A year we are able to measure our strength and weakness, a year we learn to find happiness even in the worst moments of life.

I am no prophet but am here to tell you 2020 isn’t canceled, it’s just getting started. You got to make the best out of it and most importantly stay united through it. The world has slowed so that we can rediscover ourselves. Remember what doesn’t kill you , makes you stronger. I am open to conversation in the comment section. Tell me how 2020 has affected you and how this write up has helped you . I am open to criticism too. Be sure to come back for my next post and remember I have a documentary going live anytime.

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DEALING WITH A BROKEN HEART

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Getting your heart broken is absolutely awful. Trust me I know. Most of us if not everyone have been there at some point. And most Times we are left wondering how to get over it. Before getting into this blog I will love you to know I have had my own share of a broken heart. This is not a researched write up but my own personal experience and how I dealt with it. I dedicated two years into loving someone and that didn’t work out for me. There is no sure ways to avoid a heartbreak ( unless you’re a robot with no emotional feelings). There are ways how ever to get through it. Even though there are times you believe you will never truly be happy again. Healing a broken heart takes time, sometimes longer than we often expected. Often times we blame ourselves. I spent weeks blaming myself, thinking I wasn’t good enough, finding problems within me that never existed. It turns out blaming yourself for a breakup makes it even harder to move on .

Most often after a break up, looking back at the relationship, it is easy for our minds to trick us into believing the relationship was much better than what it really was. In the moment it feels like you will never get over it, I am here to tell you that you absolutely will. If I did, I strongly believe you can. You learn many lessons from a broken and heart and believe me the were red flags from the very start. Because you ignored the red flags at the begging doesn’t mean they never existed. Yes the red flags were there, you saw them and you ignored them. Until you realize the relationship wasn’t gold from the very start, moving on may seem impossible. It took me a very long time to get over a heart break, longer than I wanted it to. In this write up I will talk on the three things I realized while dealing with a broken heart.

  1. It’s ok to grief the loss of the relationship. After a breakup we find ourself going through a wave of emotions (denial, anger, sad, depression and more). This emotion are normal. Allow yourself to grief, cry if you have too. Crying is therapy. But don’t let the breakup break you. Know you’re worth more than you think.
  2. Cut of communication with your ex. Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it. After a breakup we think we miss the ones who hurt us. No you don’t, you just miss the person you thought he or she was.
  3. Remember what sucked. Remember the things that hurt you you most, make a list if you can. See if you really want to relive those moments.

No matter how long it takes for you to move on, just know that the experience has only made you stronger. You might eventually look back and even be grateful the relationship came to and end. Cheer-up and know you will be involve again and it will be magnificent with the right person. The memories will fade so keep your head up. Always know the best is yet to come . That’s a rap. this was requested by a very good friend and hope it does something for you.

I am still working on my documentary write up and have to something special that will go up this week. Looking forward to your opinions and experiences in the comment section below.

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GOAL SETTING

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Everyone has different goals, depending on life style, values and definition of success. Your goals are unique to you and don’t need to look like anyone else. Goal setting can be defined as identifying something you want to accomplish and establishing measurable objective to help you achieve it. Setting goals can help you in every area of your life, from achieving finical freedom to adopting a healthy diet. This has been my case. I was always very careless with my spending and didn’t set goals and priority (like paying my bills on time or saving). I was able to break through this by setting progressive goals that allowed me small wins like saving, working out daily and eating healthy. Small wins like this helps you move on to larger achievements . Being able to set goals and achieve them have been an overwhelming feeling of joy.

Gaol setting is also vital cause it help you decide and focus on what is really important to you. Before this very moment I had no goals, no plans for the future . I lived everyday blindfolded not knowing what I really wanted. Setting effective goals lets you measure your life progress and see how far you’ve come. If you don’t set any goals , you can’t have a plan for life. Many people sometimes feel as if they’re adrift in the world. They work hard but don’t seem to get anywhere worthwhile. A key reason is cause they haven’t spent enough time setting goals on what they really want from life. AS mentioned earlier this was a big deal with me .

To set goals first consider what you want to achieve, and then commit to set smart and specific goals. Goals that motivate you to write them down to feel tangible. You always want to set goals that inspire you and not others. It is better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to clime than to be at the top of the one you don’t. I always wanted some kind of approval from everyone, so much that I did whatever made them happy and not me. To conclude this right up, I will give you five tips on setting effective goals that I am currently working with.

  1. State each goal as a positive statement. Check out my blog post on being positive. Never be negative while setting a goal.
  2. Write goals down. This crystallizes them and give them more force.
  3. Set realistic goals. it is important to set goals that you can achieve. setting unrealistic goals lead to failure.
  4. Set priorities within your goal. When you have several goals, give each a priority. This helps you avoid feeling overwhelmed and not balanced. (check out my blog on finding balance for more on this)
  5. Be precise with your goals. Put your goals in dates and time so you can measure you achievement

Always remember to share your opinions in the comment section. I won’t be writing as often because I am working an a very important documentary. I believe will be one of my best works. it is the success journey of the world richest man and I am excited for you guys to read. In the main time be sure to come back for my next post on achieving goals.

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FINDING BALANCE.

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In my previous blog on having a productive mindset, the very last point on that topic was balance. Fortunately the desire for peace of mind and the desire of having a balance life have become an increasing topic of discussion. Vast majority of people will like to find a way to live their life in balance. Life is very much a balancing act and we are always a step away from falling. You are always trying to achieve goals, all while trying to keep in balance the various elements of your lives. If any aspect of your life takes a disproportionate amount of energy you will have to short change the other aspects. Finding balance is dealing with areas that take up too much energy and align them, so that you have energy available for others areas. It is up to you to balance all different aspect of your life.

Balance is not the final goal but and on going process. Rather than trying to stay balance think of yourself practicing balance over and over again. The problem is always figuring out what is more important and doing them. In order to practice balance you will have to re-examine your priorities regularly. In this write up I will talk on six ways you can practice balance.

Set goals in every area of your life. To assist you remember your ultimate goal is balance.

Make time to reassess yourself on daily basis.

Make conscious decision to become balance.

Access your life as it is now and make changes in the areas that don’t align.

Be willing to take risk in every areas of your life.

Plan every task. Make a list of your daily, monthly , and weekly plans.

The key to your balance is knowing when you’ve lost it. Never get so busy making a living that you forget to get a life. And remember you will never fine time for anything if you don’t make time for it. Focus on being balanced success is balance. In my next blog I will talk about the importance of saving. Feel free to communicate your opinion in the comment section below and always come back for more.

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HAVING A PRODUCTIVE MINDSET

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A productive mindset is one that make use of your resources. It is not trying to do everything and be everything. It is making the best of what you have while enjoying the process. In this write up I will love to talk about the characteristics of a productive mindset.

Positive attitude : This is a must have when working on having a productive mind set. Not just for productivity but for success in general. You need to stay positive to achieve positive things in life. Yes we all get negative thoughts, yes we all get nervous. The good news is you are in control of your thoughts and can decide to change the negative thoughts into positive ones.

Persistence: This is my personal favorite. Although having motivation is a huge part of what gets you working towards your goals, you need persistence to keep you going. Most often motivation isn’t strong enough to pull you through difficult times. It is guaranteed that you will struggles , there will be times when you will feel like giving up. Being persistent is the only thing that can keep you going .

Vision: To be able to visualize your goals helps you focus and gives you and idea of what their outcome will look like. Vision helps gives you a variety of goals and their outcome. It is more difficult to strive for goals without having an idea of what the goals are.

Self-confidence: This was a topic on it’s own in my previous blog. It is believing that you are fully capable and can do whatever you set your mind to. Without self-confidence and faith you can not value the potential of your goal.

Balance: To function well and get the most out of life, we must maintain balance. Doing too much or pushing too hard on anything can lead to burnout or frustration. Take some time off for yourself, go on vacations. It is important to have fun while working towards your goals.

To conclude with, productivity is the absolute key to success. It also gets rid of negativity in your live. Like always I will love your opinion in the comment section. Remember to always come back for more Real Life Inspiration.

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FIVE THINGS TO BOOST YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE.

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Low self-esteem is like driving through with your hand breaks on. Nobody is born with limitless self-confidence. IF anyone seems to have an incredible self- confidence it’s because he/she had worked on building it for years. I always lacked self-confidence. Everyone’s opinion seemed to matter for some reason. This held me back from making decisions that pleased me. I needed to over com that fear. This is something we all face to some degree. I still have fears undoubtedly . Now I know that I can beat them, I can break through the walls of fear.

As an aside, I know some people make strong distinction between self-esteem and self confidence. The difference being wether you believe your worthy of respect from others (self-esteem) and wether you believe in yourself (self confidence). In the end both amount to the same thing. You do not have to be reliant on others to increase you self-confidence. If you believe that you’re not very attractive and entertaining to be around, you should think again. We all have something unique about us that everyone enjoys.

Below I outline FIVE things that will help you take control of your self-confidence. there’s more, but these five worked for me and I hope it does for you.

Speak to yourself: it’s always delightful to get a good feed back from others. However always seeking approval from outside is and easy trap. Approve yourself, be the one the one that says the words of encouragement you long to hear.

Build your capacity of energy: A bit of stress can be useful to keep alert and give us the extra energy needed to perform. Knowing how to engage with the feelings in your body will expand your presence rather than shrinking it.

Photoshop yourself image: ourself image is very important to us more than we often realize. Often we create a mental image of ourself, and if this image isn’t fixed and immutable, you need to change it. Use your mental photoshopping skill and work on your self image. Figure out why you see yourself in a certain way and change it.

Get to know yourself: when your trying to overcome a negative self image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. listen often to your thoughts, think about what makes you different, what makes you happy. Think of the limitations you have created for yourself. Dig deep within you, face the things you fear the most.

Groom yourself: sometimes changing certain aspects about yourself, helps boost your self-confidence. Get new habits like exercising often, shower twice a day, dress nicely, go out when necessary , be more organized, chase you goals and learn to always take risk.

To conclude with, I will emphasize on the point that , you are in charge of your own happiness. If something makes you happy , go for it. People fear what they don’t understand. Feel free to communicate with me in the comment section and don’t forget rot come back for my write up on having a productive mindset.

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MOVING FORWARD.

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From my previous blog titled (GET INSPIRED), you get to know a side of me people never open up about. I am not here to write more about my past, not this time. In my conclusion I emphasized on the fact that we are capable of so much more than we think. God is constantly trying to open our eyes to amazing possibilities. In life there are two questions that confront people at every place and time, questions that confront you and me. Are you satisfied with the direction the world is moving? Are you satisfied with your life?

These questions are always before you , within you and around you. You are capable of incredible things. Don’t be afraid to embrace your beautiful self. The more you accept how imperfect you are, the more others will. Do not be afraid of possibilities, they are always so many more than the ones you see easily. Moving forward is never easy, there will be joy in the journey as well as a heart-wrenching pain. Any one who says the path is easy is to be distrusted. Life is difficult and messy, there’s no point trying to mask that or pretend otherwise.

How often have you fallen into the trap of thinking that the things of this world are more important than they really are? How often have we mistaken that certain things, pleasure and experience will make us happy for longer than they did? Yes there may have been times in your life you tried with all your might to overcome destructive habits and failed. We all have insatiable heart desires. Today is a new day and every moment is a chance to turn it around. This might be the begining of a new season of grace in your life. I hope it is, I pray it is. Where ever you are today I invite you to open your self up, love yourself like I learned to do. Try new things, leave the mistakes of the past in the past. Make new mistakes, we learn from the mistakes we make. Take risk and don’t fear the consequences. Only very few things bring us happiness in life.

Check on my write up on Successful and productive routines. It’s a major step to moving forward. In my next blog I will write more on having a productive mindset. I am open to your opinions in the comment section even if you don’t agree with me. Remember to always come back for more.

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HAVING A PRODUCTIVE AND SUCCESSFUL ROUTINE

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Few things bring us happiness like deeply rooted daily routines. There is something about daily routines and rituals that lead the human mind to flourish. This is something I have always struggled with. This involves creating strong routines around sleep, diet, exercise and communion with friends and family. Perhaps it doesn’t come easy with everyone. For a long time I blamed this on my life with all it’s irregularities as a teenager. As I grow older I have come to realize that what I need is more effort and fewer excuses.

The central precept of work is to maximize ora et labora – latin for pray and work. Do you have a daily routine that grounds the days of your life in health and happiness? I have been fascinated my whole life with men and women who have been successful. I have studied their lives and it always becomes apparent that they each have their own rules of life. They each have strong daily routines. It’s a powerful lesson that even as I sit here working, I know its a lesson that I have to take again.

Developing a daily routine can help you feel in control of everything. It can aid our mental health and help us cope with change. Building a routine allows us to make time for important things. From my months of research on productive daily routines, I was able to come up with four personal daily routines we should all adopt for success and productivity.

Maintaining these habits is never easy. Starting them is the key. Once you start developing daily routines your mind becomes open to new ideas. I hope you enjoyed this article. And wether or not you don’t , I will love for your feed back in the comments . Also let me know what life situations you would love to read on . Get to know me more on my social media platforms and always come back for more real life inspirations

  1. organization; this includes, making up your bed every morning, cleaning your surroundings, having a daily schedule, planing, setting priorities and goals.
  2. Waking up early; successful people are more accustomed to waking up early,. This habit appears repeatedly to those who do well in life.
  3. Reading; this is my personal favorite. Of course I am a blogger. It is important to know that successful people read a lot. Most use their reading habits as a means to gain more knowledge.
  4. Exercising ; working out regularly improves your brain health, boosts your memory, enhances your concentration , therefore making you more productive.

ig; keynote_97 , snapchat; keyonce97, twitter;@keliscott97 facebook; Kelly Scott

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Get inspired

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I have never felt good about breaking laws and hurting people. It doesn’t bring me peace. I figured in life it’s either them or me. The thing is I was so hungry to be accepted, known, loved, respected and recognized. I knew if I didn’t lie about who I am, I wouldn’t get the things I desire. i supposed we all have the basic survival instinct, but most of the people who judge people like me have never been ignored or looked down upon. it breeds depression and desperate people do desperate things.

so I did what I had to do. I lied, i lied about myself and background. my siblings and parents. everybody was always better off than I was, well at least to me they were. i knew it was wrong but I was young. The lies went on and got even deeper. Some lies became the truth. I quickly discovered that a girl needs more than lies, you have to live the life style you claim to have. you had to attend parties, even throw them. Not too long I was a whole new person even hurting those that knew me for me and loved me for me. I told myself that it wouldn’t be forever but we tell ourselves all sort of things. I told myself once high school was over, in college I would be myself , I would change.

Time went by and I was able to keep up with the lies. I got into college and it crossed my mind. Nobody knows me here. This is my chance to live my truth, the real me. I thought about making new friends and living and honest life. Later that night I was invited to a really cool party with some really rich and cool kids. It wasn’t long before I had the reputation of lying again. About who I am. The lies they all came back. I couldn’t sleep at night, it was high school all over gain. Yes I felt guilty I love my parents, I love what they do , I was proud of them, yet I wanted more. I decided to change colleges. yes I did. In a new country far away from home where no one really knows me.This time I was determined to start all over and live my truth. This is my chance, my heart was filled with hope. I never wanted to be hungry with fame and popularity, I wanted what was real. I remember my first day. I immediately connected with someone. She was someone most people will call a nerd but she was exactly what I was.

Hope filled my heart again. I was honest with her, and she loved me even more . I spent my entire life chancing fake friends, who only cared about what I was and not who I am. who would have left me in a heartbeat if they found out who I really was. I became popular, not from lies but from excelling, In my grades and college sporting actives . Yes I had the fame I seek, this time it was for something honest, something I was good at, Surrounded by friend who loved me for me. They say every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. If I could lean in close to you and whisper something in your ear, it would be, if there are pieces of your past that are weighing you down, its time to leave them behind. You are not what happened to you. You are someone unimaginably greater than you ever considered, and maybe its time to consider all possibilities that are within you.