I used to be afraid of loosing people until I realized most of them were never really down for me anyways. Even though my loyalty and love for them ran deep. Your fake friends are ruining you. I know it sounds harsh but it’s important to know who your real friends are . It can be challenging to know your friends are actually frenemies. What is a frenemy? it is someone Your friendly with , They might pretend to want you to do good on the surface but behind your back they are jealous and gossip about you. Unfortunately we leave in the kind of world where we run into these people. Don’t take it personal when you encounter a fake friend . A person who is fake to you is equally fake to others .
I mean for years I was surrounded by frenemies. The thing is it is always had to tell if someone is a fake friend. Keep in mind that feeling suspicious of a persons sincerity is usually a sign that something is not right. Before getting into why getting rid of fake friends is important let’s talk about how to identify a Frenemy. The five ways below are ways I knew I had Frenemies and not friends.
1) your friendship with them is conditional: A conditional friendship is when your friends expect you to give them certain things, act a certain way, dress in certain clothes Or follow some superficial standards before they can be friends with you. If someone requires you to be something other than yourself before they are friends with you , that’s not a real friend. The day I changed was the day I quit trying to fit in a world that never really fit me.
2) fake friends act differently when they are around other people. This is an obvious sign of a fake friend. There always nice to you privately and give you cold shoulders around others. Real friends are never ashamed of treating you with kindness and never laugh at you around their friends but speak highly of you .
3) fake friends will speak poorly of you behind your back. Why would someone you consider a friend feel it’s ok to talk about you to others . When you genuinely care about someone you never speak about their difficulties or problems to another. The worst pain is getting hurt by a person you explain your pain to.
4) fake friends stop talking to you after a disagreement Or take problems to social media. The real test of friendship occurs when you and your friend actually disagree on something. It is times like these you see a person‘s true colors. Do they talk about the problem with you or others? Do they try to work it out Or take it to social media throwing all kinds of subs at you? People show their true colors unintentionally pay attention. Real friends always talk things out, yes they do fight about things but always find a way to work it out with you and not others.
5) fake friends always bring you down. Yes they want to see you do good but never better than them remember that. They never support you in anything you do but always find a way to bring you down.
Why it’s important to access your friends actions it is also important to honestly reflect on your own actions. Honestly I haven’t been a very good friend to many and yeah I can admit to that . I really became a good friend when I was able to differentiate my friends and Frenemies. Unfortunately friends who you once couldn’t get enough of morph Into people you no longer want to have in your life. Now that you have identified your Frenemies let’s talk about how to get rid of them .
1) rise above pettiness and bitterness. Friendship rarely ends in a positive note especially if you made the conscious decision of actively removing someone from your life, but with fake friends it has to be done. Don’t attack them, don’t stop talking to them either. If they talk to you it’s ok to respond. Check on them if you have to but never consider them a friend. Consider them more of an acquaintance than a friend. Always remember to be Kind .
2) You lose some you gain a tone more. Although you might be losing the people closest to you, you are still surrounded by many genuine friends who care and love you not to mention the really cool friends you’re going to meet in the future. There are no strangers only friends you haven’t met yet. The only time I realized I had genuine friends was when I got rid of fake friends.
3) forgive and forget. Don’t hold onto the anger and bitterness . some relationship have an expiring date and you can’t help that. The universe has a plan and the journey of you guys being friends have now come to an end no had feelings Let it go . Sometimes you just have to be done ,not mad ,not upset just done.
Share your worst friendship experiences with me in the comment section would love to read them . Make sure to always come back for more real life inspiration.